i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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