i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
