So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
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