Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I had to cum in my sink.
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