Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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