Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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