As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You don't make any sense
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