my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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