i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
