dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
