Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
