if only i could text you this smell
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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