he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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