your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
