he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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