he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
