You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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