Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
