he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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