Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
