i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
