You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
