I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
