Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
