never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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