My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
