dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
