i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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