Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
