Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
