Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
