Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
