i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
