He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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