OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
