I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I am morally bankrupt
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
