Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would ride that face into the sunset
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
