i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
