I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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