I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you made out with another girl for some wings
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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