So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
