Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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