My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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