He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize