i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
