Pappa wants mamma naked
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
