we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
