she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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