It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
