Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
