those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
