You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
