I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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