woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
