69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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