What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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