he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
