did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
