Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
