An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dear god my vagina.
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