So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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