Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Life is so much better after having sex.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
