He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
